These days are filled with disproportionate amounts of elation and fear. No wonder blogging has become hard. Between the euphoria of a blossoming romance and the fear of foreclosure there is little room for organized thinking- which is essentially what the act of writing is about.
No, my life has become a disordered menu of memorable moments interspersed with a to-do list, hardly suitable material for public consumption. Yet the writer needs to write. And so, my friends, I present this disordered list of random musings to you. Who knows? Some items may make for interesting material one day. Most, however, are the by-products of a mind- mine- spinning furiously on the hamster wheel of daily existence.
♦One day soon I will sport monster platform shoes and perform a classic David Bowie song. Changes, or maybe Rebel, Rebel. This act will satisfy my teenage fantasy of rock stardom. I am closer to this day than I have ever been before.
♦The highlight of the past month: watching a pair of Great Blue Herons build a nest atop a dead tree in the swamp adjacent to the McAlpine Creek Greenway.
♦Must. Find. Job.
♦The benefits of having a double-family are immeasurable. I cannot imagine life without my parents- all of them. The prospect of losing any one of them, however, looms large and settles on my heart with a heavy thud. Recent medical issues with two parents have reinforced this dread.
♦So many friends, so little time. Would the latter be solved with more money?
♦My boy drives a black Vespa Scooter. He makes me feel like an Italian princess. His vanity license tag reads, “Pazzo,” Italian for crazy.
♦Must. Find. Job.
♦For the first time in my life, my lover has no issue with my weight. Now I must go on a diet to please myself. But first I must resolve to do it. Today or tomorrow?
♦My boy is a night owl. Like me. He is creative. Like me. He is moody. Like me. Sometimes I wonder how to deal with so much similarity.
♦Sophie is snoring gently beside me. She will be seven next month- middle-aged in dog years. I worry about this, too. I’m happy that dogs don’t suffer from existential angst.
♦Once again I am awed by the beauty of fractals- this time while snorkeling in Belize I took a photo of brain coral.
Amazing image.
♦I grew up in Raleigh, in North Hills, in the sixties and seventies. I wonder if there was something in the water of Crabtree Creek that inspired creativity? Or was it simply the influx of IBMers and Research Triangle types? Regardless, my boy- who is only nine months my senior- describes his childhood in Charlotte as one whistle-stop from being a Jim Crow town.
♦Must. Find. Job. Strike that- career
♦Has it now become standard practice not to send rejection letters or emails? Here’s a new post-interview slogan: “When you receive nothing, you get nothing.”
♦I like the idea of having more love and enough money.
♦My boy ran out of his house one afternoon last week holding a large pair of binoculars. I thought he might have seen an unusual bird. When I asked what he was looking for, he replied, “I just saw on FlightAware there’s an Airbus 330 from Frankfurt landing any minute now.” He’s unique, my boy.
♦Must. Find. Job. Strike that- Motivation.
♦Inspiration is easier to find than motivation. Inspiration needs only awareness. Motivation requires necessity.
♦Unfortunately, like so many folks in this bum economy, I need money.
♦Mother Joyce once told me, “you can never have too many people to love.” She’s absolutely right.
