If you know me or have read a few of my blog posts (e.g., Thank You Ella! Thank You Mom!), this news will not come as a surprise. I am a liberal. Some would accuse me of being a “bleeding heart,” whatever that means, but my world views have been formed and shaped by a belief that government should protect the most vulnerable members of society from predation. As I’ve aged and mellowed, I’ve come to appreciate the delicate balance between a free marketplace that allows individuals and groups to create and pursue wealth, and a government that doesn’t interfere or burden its citizens with unneccessary penalties and restrictions nor allow its citizens to be used to serve the interests of the powerful. So in my opinion, I’ve actually leaned a bit toward the middle, at least in economic matters. All the while, though, my main interest as a citizen has been to empower the disenfranchised, help young people, and protect those underdogs who, in my opinion, have historically been economically exploited by powerful people and entitites. One could say I take the motto: E pluribus unum to heart.
That said, it looks like my political leanings have caused a few unintended consequences in cyber-dating land. I guess I’m learning a new maxim: cyber-love and cyber-politics don’t necessarily mix. A couple of my recent encounters illustrate this point.
What’s happening in that tent?
I was happy to see Mystery Man was still single after my three-year hiatus. I thought his profile was a standout amongst the many bland descriptions I had read. For one thing, it appeared he had some opinions I liked. His writing style was coherent, and it was obvious he’d thought about what to say. And he could spell- a big plus in my schoolteacher handbook. He wrote about his interest in the local music scene, and he even named the venues. Hey, these were the places I liked to go, too! He alluded to the local newspaper and to N.P.R….. “Sweet!” I thought. Then he mentioned some of his political interests: social justice, conservation, preservation of free speech. He was speaking my liberal language! Could this be a match between two bleeding hearts? I wondered.
To my delight, I received an email a few days after going live with my e-search. “So we meet online again,” he started, “what have you been doing these three years?” I wasn’t about to tell him the whole truth- that I had taken a e-dating hiatus primarily because after he cooled off our initial correspondence three years ago, I never saw anyone else out there whose profile “clicked” with me. Soon we were exchanging emails, light-hearted banter, at first. “What do you like to do?” Camping, travel, web-surfing, music, blah, blah, blah, back-and-forth. “And sex” he wrote.
Okie dokie, I thought. Here’s the bait. Do I ignore that remark or respond? I decided not to be a forty-nine-year-old prude. After all, what’s not to like about sex? So I (rather blithely, I thought) mentioned that I, too, liked camping and sex, although it had been a long time since I had done either. The proverbial gauntlet, as it turns out, was thrown. The rest of our email exchanges took on- shall I say it? A rather extended metaphor about sex and camping. A few more days of this type of dialog was becoming like a junior high version of summer co-ed camp- the young couple sitting by a campfire roasting marshmallows and weenies, while the boy, begging for “s’more” keeps trying to plant a sloppy kiss, and the girl keeps moving sideways, trying to remain both attractive and aloof.
I decided it was time to either see this guy in-person or give up the e-foreplay, so I wrote and suggested we meet. He seemed amenable, so we agreed on a local park where I could bring Sophie. Mama Shirley was coming into town for dinner that evening, too, so I had a reason to make our first meeting brief. With all the cyber-banter leading up to our encounter, I had concluded this guy’s libido switch must have been at least set to “ready.”
So I was surprised to meet this awkward eye-averting, painfully shy person, whose particular shade of whiteness can only be achieved by a fifty-plus sunblock or a complete lack of exposure to natural sunlight. Far from the jocular trash-talking conversationalist, Mystery Man- still a mystery- seemed more of an articulate Boo Radley than a glib Tom Jones. After an hour or so of halting conversation- he seemed about as easygoing as a breadstick- I bid him farewell, leaving him with a friendly hug and a quick peck on the cheek. Politics notwithstanding, there was no chemistry.
Several days after the Mystery Man incident, I decided to get a bit more playful and less smarty-pants (see prior post) with my online profile, thinking I might continue my mold-breaking trend. I posted the following:
Grab your pencil
Quick! Take this short quiz to see if we match.
Disclaimer: I am a former school teacher and school principal, so you will be graded. Of course, passing this test is optional. If you fail, do not be discouraged, just hit the “back” button, and move on to the next profile.
OK, Let’s begin.
This is a word association quiz. Just choose the one word you like best for each question. Answers are below, so no cheating.
1. N. P. R. -OR- N. R. A.
2. Glenn Beck -OR- Jon Stewart
3. Sex is fun with the one you love -OR- Sex is why you’re on this site
4. My way or your way-OR- My way or the highway
5. John Wayne -OR- John Lennon
6. Natural Light -OR- Natural Beauty
7. Read the book -OR- See the movie
8. NASCAR -OR- NCAA
9. Lady -OR- Woman
10. Spread democracy -OR- Spread love
Bonus:
1. The Mighty Boosh-OR- The Mighty Bush
2. mispelling -OR- misspelling
The correct answers: 1. NPR, 2. Jon Stewart, 3. Sex is fun with the one you love, 4. My way or your way, 5. John Lennon, 6. Natural Beauty, 7. Read the book, 8. NCAA, 9. Woman, 10. Spread love BONUS: The Mighty Boosh, misspelling
Your score:
11- 12 You’re my hero!! Contact me any time!
9 – 10 Let’s talk…..Read my blog, fredazeh on WordPress. 7 – 8 Think about it. How willing are you to meet someone wonderful you may disagree with?
less than 7 Good luck in your quest!
I thought my post was amusing, if not downright clever. I was chagrined the following day to receive this message in my e-dating in-box:
What a shame
I clicked on your profile to have fun with your quiz, only to be slapped across the head with your political agenda. What is it about liberal women?
Okay. Disclaimer: I am a former school teacher with a principal’s certificate who left the school system because I couldn’t stand the indoctrination of students and teachers with liberal drivel. And since I taught English, my grading covers grammer, as well. (Couldn’t resist.)
Same rules:
1. 50 million deaths — WWII -or- America since Roe v Wade
2. Television Network without more than one conservative commentator and/or talking head (Multiple Choice) — a. ABC — b. CBS — c. NBC — d. NPR — e. All of the above
3. Senator who once promoted pornography — Franken -or- McConnell
4. Senator who once was member of KKK — Helms -or- Byrd
5. President who relies exclusively on a teleprompter when speaking — Booosh -or- Obama
6. Affirmative Action -or- Racial Preferences
7. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness -or- Massive government intervention in health care, financial markets, misc. industries
8. Self-employed -or- Employed by Government
9. Tax Breaks -or- Tax the “Rich”
10. Gilligan -or- The Professor
BONUS:
Essay — 1) Who are we fighting in Afghanistan? And why?
True/False 2) Can a white policeman be “racially profiled” by a black president?
Answers:
1) Trick question…both. 2) e. All of the above 3) Franken of SNL 4) Byrd, democrat of West Virginia, the last senator of record to use the “N” word in an interview…over and over. 5) Obama…whose staff has made repeated efforts in their quest to wean him. 6) Racial preferences, once you are passed over for a job because of the color of the other applicant. 7. Life, Liberty…etc. Age old argument…Jefferson vs Hamilton. 8. Self-employed. Everyone should try it, just to experience the impact of our out-of-control local, state and federal goverment(sic). 9. Tax Breaks…just note the response to the “clunker” give away. 10. Who cares? I was only checking if you finished the test.
Bonus Question:
1) I’m not sure I know either. My point is…the very people who had “cows” over Iraq now are suspiciously silent.
2) False. Because racism in America can only be inflicted by whites. Ask the African American leadership.
You might be surprised to learn…I believe the future of American and the world is in the hands of women. And I believe when faced with the hard decisions, those decisions which mean the ultimate survival of their homes and their families…they will make the right choices.
Proof? The courageous Iraqi women, who in the first election following the overthrow of Saddam, dressed in funeral garb and voted…knowing full well they might die at the hands of suicide bombers…their husbands…or their brothers…to make their voices heard.
Those are the type of women we should all celebrate.
Good Lord! What on earth was this diatribe all about? In the process of trying to be frivolous, I had hit the raw nerve of a wingnut. Instead of discovering an e-date, I had discovered e-hate.
I concluded this guy might have friends or relatives associated with the FOX network, so rather than responding to his “points,” I simply replied to his salvo by defending my right to post whatever I wanted about myself and my “date.” This is what I wrote:
My reply
I concur with your views of the role of Iraqi (and now Iranian) women and believe their courage will have a direct impact on the future of the Middle East. I also concur it’s a shame that political differences divide us. That said, I feel just as passionately as you do, but on the other side, as you correctly surmised. As you no doubt read in my profile, I identified myself as “liberal.”
I certainly did not attempt to rope someone (ie, you) into a political debate, only to strike a positive chord in a kindred thinker, which we obviously are not. I was trying to keep it light without judging the opposite side, only reflecting my own views for the sake of comparison. Like NASCAR and NCAA. Neither is “right” or “wrong.” They’re different, and thus attract different types of people. So your response seems touchy, to say the least.
Incidentally, “The Mighty Boosh” is a British comedy team that rival Monty Python with their off-the-wall humor, thus the reference to the Boosh. Apparently you took that as a slight on the former President. It wasn’t. So that wasn’t part of my “agenda,” either.
I, too, was an educator, who retired in 2002 in the aftermath of the ridiculous unfunded mandate, NCLB, which enjoyed broad bi-partisan support. So strike that off my liberal “agenda,” too.
In fact, I believed my quiz was a playful way to start a conversation, not to forward a political “agenda,” but to establish commonalities with a potential match.
But it did provide good information for us both, didn’t it, as you’ve already judged my “agenda” and concluded “it’s a shame,” thus no commonality? So my question is, why even write?
Good luck in your search, and perhaps you’ll find a like-minded woman (maybe in Texas and/or Alaska?) who’ll appreciate your views on the state of the world, its history, or when life begins.
Conclusion: Whatever anyone, at any time, has said about love and politics being incompatible is true.
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